What’s one thing you know now that would have saved your younger self a lot of pain?
was always the good girl, growing up I stayed out of trouble. Buried my pain to avoid causing discomfort to others.
My dad loved his bottle…and he would arrive drunk…no talking to him in that state or making noises to wake him up. I remember we could not even laugh out loud if he was sleeping to avoid waking him up. So, we learnt to keep quiet .
My mum on the other hand would have seasonal depression triggered mostly by stress. To avoid stressing her further,I learnt to avoid problems and not cause trouble.
The solution to handling life became people pleasing…In school,at home and even in relationships. The prize? My own mental health?! 2020 during the covid season, my body could not handle it anymore. Depression set in…I knew the signs, I saw it growing up…That is when I snapped…went for counselling and cut people off.
That was a turn around. I learnt to live my life to the fullest. Not to people please as long as I live within Christian teaching and by the law of the land…the rest I did what was right by me. Yes, I blocked some people, ended relationships and started a journey of introspection.
In there I found I was hurt to a point of bitterness Unforgiveness that I carried for years,low self esteem and self righteousness.
I embarked on a journey of ridding my heart of all these…open the doors of my hear that had turned into a prison.
One by one, My heart was finally free. I now live without seeking peoples approval. I am happier than I have ever been.I enjoy sunrise and sunsets,changes in seasons and the joy of every day life.
Faithful Steward Chronicles.
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